Well, I've been trying to ignore it but this year I turned 40. I've been having a battle with myself because I should be very thankful that I am alive and lucky enough to be turning 40 after having stage 3 Melanoma skin cancer. I've also been feeling very emotional about it and how fast time has flown by. Having Alysha gone for five months and trying to hold in my feelings about it along with going back to college and being crazy busy has been a lot harder than I would admit. Some days I feel ancient and others I can't believe that I am 40 because I don't feel like it. I feel like every decade I've been a totally different person and I am really pushing myself and working super hard to be a more educated and successful person this decade but it isn't easy. My children are growing up way to fast and Alysha has proved that I am not ready for it. I was expecting to be able to embarrass her for another two years but then she decided to go live with her dad for the school year. I wanted to scream "No" but made myself say that she was big enough to make her own decisions. Probably one of the hardest things I have never done. I was truly hoping she would change her mind but as she started school in Florida I had to except that she was actually going to stay. My birthday wish was that she would come home and I lucked out that she actually did want to come home. Now that she is back I feel a little less unstable and after finishing up my first 5 week class with an "A" I am a little bit more confident that I can actually pull this off.
|Yummy food at the Hyde Park Street Fair|
For my birthday I was able to go to the Hyde Park Street Fair to watch friends of mine belly dance and then Mike and the kids looked around at all the cool booths with me. My actual birthday was crazy with school and dance class but when I got home I had family there to greet me with yummy peach and apple pies. Now that it has passed I feel silly to have been dreading it so much.